I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
