do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
