I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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