OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Four minutes until I can fart!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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