I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
