4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
