I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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