you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My vagina just clenched in fear
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
