they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
