just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
