So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
