me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
