i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I need to calm my uterus...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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