i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
