Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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