i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
