We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
