I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
