party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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