why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
