So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
