I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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