we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
