This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
