To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
