so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
