There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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