it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
