Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
