May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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