Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
