alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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