Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
