he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Girls should come with a carfax report
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
