we're blogging at a bar
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I AM VODKA MAN
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
