I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
what is it with giant penises always finding me
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
