Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
