You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
