We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
