Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
