why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
