I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
