Whod you bang
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I wish I only lived at night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
