Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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