Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
