i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
