you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
