you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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