You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
