I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
