Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
wow bdsm is so cute
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
