You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
