I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
