FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We are two peas in an std pod
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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