I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
